I puked a lego.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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