Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
