did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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