butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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