btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
