This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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