there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
