I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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