Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize