New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
