She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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