when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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