I love black thongs
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
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