My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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