nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
please come you make the beer taste better
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
