yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
