how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
