I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize