What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
