Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
either way he was missing a nipple.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just want to make out with him forever
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i believe in u and ur pee
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
