the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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