I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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