I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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