piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
