dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
A bitchslap is in order.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
