i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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