so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
