Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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