I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize