Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
