btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
