I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
