In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Quick, to the slutcave!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
