I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
