We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
