No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
