Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
