she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
