you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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