my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
