every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
