So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
