SEEEEXXX PLEASE
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize