So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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