My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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