I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
