i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
