yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
how does that bad decision feel?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
