Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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