It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
