these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
