im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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