I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
