Can Purell be used as lube?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
