id be glad to
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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