if i can run in heels then i can drive
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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