the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
