Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
