I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize