Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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