it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
