My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the day after is always just damage control
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
