Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
