She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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