I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize