he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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