good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize