You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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