no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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